K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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