...so i touched it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
