Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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