I love black thongs
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
