I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize