You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize