WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
