I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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