I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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