break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
