Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
