I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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