If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
