she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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