last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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