So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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