Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
