Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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