I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
