Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize