the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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