I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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