We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
