Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
What a dumb baby whore.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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