I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think people are normalizing furries
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
