I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
