I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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