Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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