I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
