It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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