I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
