We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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