Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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