let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
