I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
