sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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