Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
