She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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