It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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