last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
