broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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