I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
