He told me they were just razor bumps!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
