And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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