I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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