Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
