We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
