Farmville is her only friend.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
