how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
