white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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