Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
