Non-Jews are for practice
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
