its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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