'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
