Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
