ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
