Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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