So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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