A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
