Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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