weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
